Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
