I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
