im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
he shaved USA in his pubs
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize