Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
