I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
