can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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