dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You need a sexual gate keeper
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
