i barfeds in our rink
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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