The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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