It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
