I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
