I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
