i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
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Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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