8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
