I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
