hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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