Pappa wants mamma naked
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
