you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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