I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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