I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
