It's Friday. Sex?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize
