glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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