Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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