How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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