he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
