It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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