yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
