well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
