Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
