someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Green mimosas i think yes
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I am naked and annoyed.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
