It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
