well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
