WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
