yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
