you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
