my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
