I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
