Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
