What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
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my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
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oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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