seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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