i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
