I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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