I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
