escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
