That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i came on her dog
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
