I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
