Me. At least after what I've been through.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Let's paint friendship bongs
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
