Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
