I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
