ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
