I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
