you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
