i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
