Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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