All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
