Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Randomize
