Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
