went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
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I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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